I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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