so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
