It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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