Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He shit in the fireplace
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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