I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
