this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
