I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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