i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
