Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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