There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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