Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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