what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
