there was a trapeze. enough said
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
