im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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