let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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