apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
