Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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