burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
