I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We talked him into tasing himself.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
