Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
