Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
