I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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