I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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