This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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