Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
