This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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