Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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