he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
