I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
