I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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