physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
