a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
