turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
