you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
