Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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