i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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