can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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