defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
