Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
