so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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