Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I need to align my fucking chakras
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
