my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
