let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My life is pants optional.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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