I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
