So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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