I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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