We won't sleep together?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
