He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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