the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
