Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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