Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
